VanillaAfro.com

[Mr.Fix-it]

As the HOLES team physician I feel compeled to update everyone on the teams health heading into the spring of 08 season....

1)As previously discussed I recently inserted shins onto M.Braun..The procedure was a amazing sucess..Mike now tips the scale at a skyscaper like 4'7 inches a 1ft increase over last year..Mike and I look foward to his riding the ELMO Roller Coaster at Seasame Place himself this year...

2)In a act of modern technological wonder I was able to insert a bionic metallic spring in M.Smith's hand..In what can only be described as a miracle Smitty can now close his glove hand with a ball in it..Im sure there will be many doubters to this claim as its never been seen B4 but you will see for yourselves..On the downside it is a much harder chore for Matt to flip his bat ala Manny Martinez on one of his pattened Sac.Flies so keep your eyes open...

3)I inserted a tendon from Dave Hollins arm in JCass's shoulder..Cass now has the strongest arm in the lge.he just has no idea where the ball will go..

4)After consuting with my dear friend and collegue Dr.Pistone I was able to get a group rate for team hair transplants...So next year DeNofa will have hair recovered from Joe Wolf----Juddy will be sporting the lovely clairol colored mane of Johnny G.....Johnny Mac will don a charming afro courtesy of T.Quinn and in a kind gesture since Keith always obsessed about Smitty's hair, Smitty donated his mane including the Dylan Walsh sideburns...Mr.Smith has also taken time to show KP the proper use of gel and blowdryer....

5)A liver transplant was done between Kwolf and McKeever...No one really gained anything in this trans-action as both livers were disased,raisin like in appearence and of little use to anyone but these 2 boozers but I needed practice in case anyone worth saving comes along..

6)And my greatest accomplishment was on KP.I straightened his bent arm, lasiked his eyes,removed the surgicly attached pen from his hand so he'll never make another line-up again and nuetered him...Now his cock watch is permenately attached to his wrist...Now when KP drops his pants you'll see my perfectly designed MAN-GINA where is watch once was....

[???????]

WHO THE FUCK IS "MANNY MARTINEZ??????"

[Manny Martinez]

Im the love child between Redsox Greats Pedro Martinez and Manny RAMIREZ