VanillaAfro.com

[Smitty Socrates]

10. The ump from this past Sunday has died
9. Keith promises to try hard b/c he needs to win the free t-shirt
8. Smitty is consistently batting 9th
7. That white trash ump moved to Canada to avoid his parole officer, so he'll replace the dead ump. (He is staying with fellow piece of shit ump Kevin McKeever who also left due to being accused of molesting a seventh grader. Kev claims he was drunk and doesn't remember a thing!)
6. We average three strike outs a game but still have a 5-1 record
5. Johnny G. only fake quit our Sunday team, and has been a good sport about serving his punishment which is he has to bat so low in the line-up that he bats in front of Smitty!
4. Yank, Dobb, Tony, Balls Out, McKeever, Sparks, Jean, don't show up to play in the games still....thank god... although Tony bringing chilled Capri Suns to the game was nice!
3. We are all now familiar with the Iditarod trail so it is easy to navigate to the fields even without the help of dog sleds.
2. Johnny Mac tossed that weed out from two weeks ago that made him so depressed and sentimental he missed the game for church where he repented his terroristic ways!!
1. Keith has been eating at Arby's so much they offered him a job there, so with stable work he can concentrate on his pitching! (and yes Arby's is an equal opportunity employer, so they always needs retarded people to sweep the floor and greet the guests. Studies show that when people feel sorry for other less fortunate human beings it provokes them to say "Aww, poor guy, give me three number 2's and two number 1's")

[Burger King]

Well, Keith chose our business this week for his after game snack. Thank you for the $24.00 purchase. And who was the weird guy with you in the jean shorts?

Next Week's Lunch
Steves 5 - 1
Arby's 3 - 1
Croyden Burgers 2 - 1
Holy Land Pizza 17 - 1