VanillaAfro.com

[HANGER]

Mommy where is my POWER RANGERS robe? Its on the hook next to your Barry Manilow poster honey..Thanks mom.. Mommy where are my Full House slippers? On the floor next to your John Stamos rug sweetie..Thanks mommy. Mommy will you bring me some cocoa puffs in my Saved by the Bell bowl and some juicey in my Erkel cup please?Daddy where is Joe and his hot girlfriend?They not being light in the loafers ,hungover pussy"s like your lame drunk ass son are out boozing with your brother"s sensei Mr.Greenwald Saan.So young man go change your pissed sheets put away that empty tube of K.Y jelly And take your date Mr.Jack home.and stop bothering your mom!!!! Love Bob Saget

[Wolf]

What the FUCK does that rambling mean? I understand the ending somewhat i guess, but that beginning is the most bizarre thing I have ever read! I think we are gonna have to take lil' Johnny Greenwald's computer away from him! He's been a very incoherent little boy!
Love, Carl Winslow

[Uncle Jessie]

Youngster those words of wit were what was heard by a fly on the wall in the home of lightweight non hanging ass K Wolf yesterday !!!The doctors at the clinic said my alzheimers isn"t contagious please dont allow me to inflict you my young prized pupil...Hugs:dave "i"m bangin the olsen twins"coultier...........

[Alanis Morissette]

Dave, you are hung like that "fly on the wall in the home of lightweight non hanging ass K Wolf." You're so small that a virginal, 9-year old Mary Kate couldn't feel you inside of her ultra-tight vag! The most pleasure you have ever given was probably to that puppet woodchuck that you always had your hand deeply in! You were so wholesome on the show, but a pedophile in real life! "ISN"T THAT IRONIC? DON'T YOU THINK?"

Truly yours: Comet, the family dog! (Isn't that sad that I know his name?)

[The Champ]

Alright loud mouth Greenwald.....I had enough of all your bullshit about being a non-hanging pussy....Hear is the challenge, me vs. you in a drinkin contest (don't care what day of the week it is) and the first one to quit aka puke (like yourself) loses. If you really want, you can have a partner because god only knows you will need it to hold ur sorry broken old ass up from the beating I will give you (Just like Danny Tanner gives to Michelle).....So bring it on LOUDMOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Reds]

So called champ: My young friend you are a Fraud!!! We had that drinking contest sunday and like your glove you were missing!!!As a boy of my early 20's like you puppy I drank EVERYDAY...And to boot son it was followed up with the skeezer of the night bitch..I wasn 't waving goodbye to Juddy at 5am oh penisless1 ...The early to mid 80"s was pussy paridise ...some long hair a motley crue cassette and peowwwlll.....you rump rangers with your gay bathhouse sex and aids ruined the goodtimes..as the people in "ROADHOUSE" and all your boyfriends have said "I thought you'd be Bigger "and you like Dalton reply "Yeah I get that Alot"....Hugs,Kelly "DOC" Lynch

[Movie-Boy]

ALANNIS,
You sorry whinny ass one album wonder !!!Your lame ass cd's are now next to Hanson-Menudo-Avril Lavingre shit in the 3/5$ bin bitch....Now that you blow,
tell everyone the truth it was John Greenwald you went down on in the theatre you sperm burping gutter pig!!!you and your stink putty are the worse thing to cum out of canada since Celine Dion..
Love Canada"s #1 Treasure Bryan Adams

[Ms. Morissette]

Dear Movie Boy,

You Oughta Know that I never, ever had your Jagged Little Pill in my mouth in any movie theater! All I Really Want for you do to is apologize to the millions of my fans that frequent VanillaAfro.com on a daily basis for that hateful slander.

As for Dave Coulier, I know you are still Head Over Feet for me! And I can’t lie. You still make me very hot and horny! I constantly have one Hand In My Pocket playing with myself thinking about your 11-inch Ironick (Our little pet name for your Iron-Dick.)

PLEASE! The only time I think about you and your tictac-sized penis is when I’m passing by Nick-at-Night and see your lame, fat ass on Full House re-runs. I only dated you to get myself some recognition! But it only took me about 8 seconds to get more famous than you, which is why I dumped you bitch ass! (You get used, You Learn!)

Oh…. and that “one album wonder.” That one album sold 30 million copies across the globe. At $12.99 a pop, you do the math genius. Keep collecting those garbage ass Full House royalty checks & enjoy your Surreal Life as a Hollywood D-Lister!

[Sorry 4 You]

Aly,
you poor washed up maple leaf....your shameless use of your song titles in retort to a totally unbiased assessment of your limited selling power is sinful!!!(who would know sooo many of her male bashing songs is amazing) You 2nd rate ball -licker the only reason you reference tic-tacs with me is cause i made you suck them and altoids to blow my at the premier of SHOWGIRLS2 "Quest 4 Quinny"..So take your measly royalty"s check and buy season 6 of my runaway smash hit series FULL HOUSE you nasty ass canuck!!! Pearl Necklaces,Dave

[Robert Ebert]

I just got the bootleg of “Showgirls II: Quest for Quinny.” Faboluos picture! But, I can’t decide which of the following was my favorite scene:

1) When Elizabeth Berkley attempts to braid BOTH of Quinny’s vanilla afros with a garden rake.

2) When Quinny makes Berkley sing the “Saved By The Bell” theme song as he tears he anal passage open . (When Quinny pops the test, I know Berkley’s in a mess!)

3) When Quinny puts on one of A.C. Slater’s old wrestling tights and dances over a very satisfied and exhausted Berkley.

But regardless, a very entertaining experience. Gene Siskel raves from the grave that Quinny’s performance was innovative & provocative. But his "member" steals the show. An automatic best supporting actor nominee!

[Jennifer Beals]

Mr.RoGer Ebert,
I to give quest 4 Quinny 2 thumbs up...What a thespian !!! Ipersonally liked his re-enactment of my memorable scene in "FLASHDANCE" my lord with his legs pumping and the water hitting him it was majestic...His resemblence to a pale,pasty Rick James when his afro is wet and loosened is uncanny... I also liked when he was teaching Johnny Mac to dance in the barn to "LETS HEAR IT 4 THE BOY " from footloose...BUTTT my absolute favorite part was when while in his purple pants and puffy white shirt he threw Fat Jack on his motorcycle and tricked him into jumping into Lake Winatonka naked as in PURPLE RAIN.... pure movie history a sure fire golden globe nominee !!!
LOVINGLY YOURS;Denny Terio

[Johnn Unitas]

Has anyone seen Fat Jack, he stole my haircut and I need to get it back