VanillaAfro.com

[JCa$$]

You know there's gonna be 'drunken issues' when...

1. ...ever Lono is drinking anything, even mouthwash.
2. It's 3 am and I am heading to a NJ establishment, 64 oz Super Gulp mug in hand.
3. TQ turns to you after double-digit Yuenglings and says, "I'm so fucking thirsty!"
4. JS decides that the perfect time to cop a feel with Lady Luck is immediately following multiple so-co & limes (doubles).
5. everybody's heading on a fishing trip with a group of Bucks Co. Probation officers.
6. Smitty wants to bong beers on a deck behind the boardwalk in Ocean City in May at 3 am.
7. ...ever MD goes to an Eagles game in the cold, or to a now-defunct club on a golf course in Bensalem.
8. You're planning a bachelor party, and you decide to take a bunch of alcoholics and gambling addicts to a, 'Native American Gaming Establishment.'
9. ...ever the Phillies play a home opener.
10. It's 3 am, and I'm still drinking.

[tqatsju]

11.) Denofa is passed out in a sports stadium bathroom
12.) The only woman you have seen all night has asked you this question: Do you want me to turn around?
13.) You think it's a good idea to go behind the bar and grab yourself a twisted
14.) Cassidy is arranging lawn chairs outside of his house in 30 degree weather
15.) You would kill every old person, mother and child for a wawa turkey shorty
16.) Keith is in tin foil and you're loving it
17.) lono and quinn are pushing each other into parked cars
18.) Shields wants to go home
19.) The Lady's house is a target
20.) Quinn is yelling at Red Sox fans like they are hitler

[Lono]

21.) Cassidy has developed a slight cast in his left eye and begins to preface everything with either "Last thing I'm gonna say..." or "Just listen to me..."

22.) It seems like a good idea to pave the streets of Dodge City in gold.

23.) You take I-95 to get from the Moon to Longshore Ave.

24.) Denofa starts saying things like "How bad did we pee all over that motherfucker's car" when the rightful owner is standing just five feet away.

25.) I "accidentally" drop a cup of piss in Cassidy's Mustang.

26.) Quinn starts rousting people for a perceived lack of drinking (a perception that is almost always wrong).

27.) "Into the Night" by Benny Mardones actually starts to sound like a really good song.

28.) Giant beer mugs, Coca Cola, and Crown Royale become par for the course at about 3:30am.

29.) Smitty gets really mad at Cassidy for something he said about softball.

30.) We wait around for an hour after close in the vain hope that we might be able to score one free beer.
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"I blame that Minnie Matrone. She's a malignant cunt!"

-Paulie Walnuts