VanillaAfro.com

[Wolf]

To My Full Moon Softball Teammates:

In exactly 24 hours, we are going to play the most important softball games of our lives! We've come a long way since the days of constantly being on the wrong end of a mercy-ruling or countless Sunday morning sweeps. We are a legitimate team now! In fact, that's an understatement. We are easily the most talented team in this league. We are presently 12-4, which seems like a fantastic record. But for the talent that we have on this squad, even that is an underachievement! But, none of that matters anymore. It's playoff time. Last weeks 1st round opponent was a joke, and didn't prove a damn thing. Now there are four teams left, all with ONE dream.

I know I take softball more seriously than most, if not all of you, but I also know each and every one of you wants badly to win this thing. I can see it in your eyes. And why not? Our days of playing any real competitive sports are behind us. We have bigger responsibilities like our jobs, countless bills, wives/girlfriends, and kids. Sounds pretty bleak, huh? But, on Sundays, we get to escape all of that! If only for a brief moment each week, we can forget about ALL of the stresses in our lives and be kids again! We get together as a team and play softball. Sounds awesome, right? For a few hours each week, we escape to a dream world where we are the greatest athletes in the world and together we are the greatest team in the universe! But that dream is being threatened this week. Lose, and we go home! Lose, and your prize is a cold winter filled with bitching & moaning wives/girlfriends and crying for no reason kids. BUT WIN, and the DREAM lives on! WIN, and we come back another day! WIN, and atleast in our own minds, WE are gods for another week.

I just got a job this week (for those who didnt' know, this has been a long process). I just had my first (and hopefully last) beautiful baby boy. I have a wonderful girlfriend & a great, and supportative family. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that I think about softball more than all of that combined. That may be terrible, but its the truth. I love my family, girlfriend, and son; but this week softball takes all precedence. Maybe I live a boring life (which, regardless, is probably true); or MAYBE I just really, really, REALLY want to feel what it feels like to be the BEST again! To know that I knocked down each and every single opponent that was put in front of me! To know, for a FACT, that we were the BEST!

So, in closing, join me in the fight to realize this dream! Wake up bright and early tomorrow. Get a good breakfast and a refreshing cup of coffee if you so desire. Get to the field early. Warm up properly. Take some practice cuts. And be 100% ready RIGHT AWAY to kick these faggot-ass, pussy Bucks county homos ASSES! DREAM IT TONIGHT, AND TOMORROW IT WILL BE A REALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Chief Grab a ho]

I am a great Indian Chief from the tribe Groafro, and per Tom Quinn's request I am doing a reverse rain dance to counter the possibility of rain in our forecast. Join mein this simple two-step manuever to stop the RAIN!!! Good luck to tomorrow full moon, and if you happen to see Yank, tell him he still owes me $50 for that peyote I sold him!

[bucks county player]

you guys are scaring me, is it true that philadelphia teams drink the blood of a virgin before every game? Is it also true that you've seen black people before?

[Joe the Jew]

Yes, it is true that they drink my blood before every game.

[fat jack]

>>you guys are scaring me, is it true that philadelphia teams drink the >>>blood of a virgin before every game?
no those are just my famous bloody mary's

>>Is it also true that you've seen black people before?
yes but we don't let them in the full moon