VanillaAfro.com

[Vince McMahon]

FULL-MOONMANIA I

Joe Wolf vs. Kevin Wolf/Brian Wolf (Handicap Match)
-Prediction: As Joe is kickin’ the shit out of Kevin, little sister & Joe’s nemesis Jenny Wolf comes in from the crowd, grabs a chair, & smashes it over Joe’s head. As both Joe & Kevin lay motionless like Balboa & Creed, young Brian creeps into the ring & puts the 3-count on Joe!

Juddy vs. Keith Patterson (Rematch)
-Prediction: This is a rematch from their scuffle at Deena’s House, where Juddy came out victorious with his patent Bill Goldberg spear of a very messy & naked Patterson. In the rematch, I think Keith would come out on top when he makes Juddy submit with a naked tea bag!

Quinny vs. Tony (Minority Match)
-Prediction: When the only 2 non-Caucasians in the history of the Full Moon softball team lock up, it will be a battle for the ages. However, I see Quinny getting a cheap elbow to Tony’s face in the corner, causing his already slanted eyes to become completely shut. Then, Quinny finishes off the blind Asian with his Fro-Slam!

Smitty vs. Glea (The Battle of the 1st Basemen)
-Prediction: Smitty body slams Glea as he shouts, “SEE YA!!!!” & proceeds to jump up on the ropes & celebrate his supposed victory. However, like a lot of Smitty’s supposed homeruns, he comes up a little short & Glea grabs him from the ropes when he’s not looking & gets the 3 count. After the victory, Glea is joined in the ring by special guest Luke Perry & they proceed to grab a pair of hair clippers and shave off Smitty’s sideburns. In the post-match press conference, Glea is quoted as saying, “It’s better to be LUCKY than good!!!!”

Mike Braun vs. Pat’s Dog (Cruiser Weight Match: 100 lbs. or less)
-Prediction: Although Pat’s Dog is taller & bigger, Braunny is quicker. And, as the old saying goes, “The bigger you are, the harder you fall!” And that would prove to be true as the Human Squirrel got the better of the Flea-Riddin Loyal Canine. However, Braunny picks up a slight case of gonorrhea from Pat’s Dog, who caught the STD from drinking out of Pat’s disease-infected toilet (or from a hot dog with…… No one’s really sure!)

[Mean Gene Okerland]

Mike "Dead Legs " Denofa vs Wade "Galloping Ghost"Greenwald
In a specially Designed 2' by 2' ring due to the unbelieveable immobility of these 2 slug like athletes(?) a real battle royal took place..After the 5 mins. it took for them to cover the 2ft.between them Denofa the consimate professional grappler just waited out his narcaliptic opponent...Then in an amazing move when Wade fell asleep standing up "DEAD LEGS" applied his patented already asleep SLEEPER HOLD to count out his over matched foe...

Keith "POTATOES Patterson vs..Jack "THE Carnivore"Cranage
2 GIANTS of the Sumo world collide in a match for the ages..With both balding,babbling baby baboons tipping the scales at 300 lbs.each, a all you can eat match was established...In round 1 both easily passed the tea bagging contest,with both easily consumming the others tea bags...Rd.2 saw both competitors easily pass the flesh bananna swallowing test...Rd.3 is were it became one for all-time when it was decided the final event was the "Eat the others Wifes Pussy Contest"....What a match !!!! 1st Keith nearly choking spitting out a man other than Jacks goo---And poor Jack having to having to contest with the cowwebs and regrown CHERRY from drunk ass Keith never hitting that ass...Well to the dissapointment of no one the match ended in a draw as both men nearly drowned....Keith on what seemed to be a never ending flow of man juice and Poor Jack gave Maggie her 1st orgasm and her flow nearly killed him...Good night and Good Wrestling!!!!