VanillaAfro.com

[tqatsju]

Full Moon Pros
5.) leg room
4.) much better name
3.) food selection - Pat's makes it look like The Cheesecake Factory
2.) Bathrooms - although dungy you aren't forced to look at some other guy's mule the whole time you're pissing
1.) no animals allowed

Full Moon Cons
5.) 10 inch tv's
4.) Rittenhouse square pricing
3.) no fat jack
2.) mullet shortage
1.) no poker because of some stupid citation that they say "they'll have it in the back and show you if you want"

Pat's Pros
5.) 40 inch flat screen tv's
4.) dollar hot dogs with or without
3.) convenient laundromats next door so you can get your clothes washed while you drink, now that's fucking convenient oh yeah so good
2.) card room so you can clown the wolf's at poker
1.) Great bartender that looks utterly fabulous in periwinkle or purple vests, whichever he chooses on any given sunday

Pat's Cons
5.) Animals allowed, which gets a little weird when they start gnawing on your bloody leg,i know why the hell do you have a bloody leg in the first place?....but still
4.) Claustrophobic confines, although sometimes quaint...they also force you to brush beer guts with keith, quinny or other shady characters
3.) I don't think women under 40 are allowed in the bar, in fact underneath the no drinking under 21 sign I think there may be a no loitering picture with a silhouette of a hot chick
2.) This isn't proven but it may be a haven for Megan's law qualifiers
1.) not enough room for G Man's DJ equipment or an upstairs apartment to house him


ties
-Joe the Jew frequents both establishments
-Juddy's jokes don't get any less cruel at either bar
-rhawnhurst drama

[D Elmer]

All you losers stay at Pat's !!!!My bar is a pussy palace...We charge high prices because we can,its all about location,location,location...We are located in the lovely scenic Rhawnhurst Heights...Our clinetele are all professionals who deserve a fine dining and drinking expierence...We cater to Tar and Shingle redistribution Engineers....Professors of nail Gun Technology ..Hell we even have Masters of the teaching profession like the esteemed Mr.McKeever who is in charge of our world reknowned Book Club....You morons may watch your sportscenter on big screen T.V's all day ...I have several small ones so my philosiphers can watch the Wall St.Report,Meet the Press,and the BBC...Ive replaced your sorry asses by now sponsoring a debating team...Good riddence to you all!!! This weeks debate is on my lovely wife "Pancake Tits are they just for breakfast"...Tell Fat Jack I hope he enjoys dispensing dollar dogs to .a .99 cent team....

[Smitty Props]

I have to give Quinny credit for this line in the Pat's cons:

"not enough room for G Man's DJ equipment or an upstairs apartment to house him"


HAHAHAHA

[Lono]

[Gus the Kicking Mule]

why regardless of the size or cleanliness of bathrooms is Quinny eye-balling mens hoggers?When I pull my "heat-seeking moisture missle" out of the silo its for urinating not Vanilla's little perversions !!!!when I test fire my wobbly warhead of love I'd like to know TQ is not starring lovingly at my masterpiece...Please Mr.Quinn if you want to ogle a man's unit look no farther than KP he'll willingly obliedge your fantasies...Granted his a much smaller version of a mans pipe but you'll at least have idea of what you dont want from a man....

[Frosty's Saloon]

Fat Jack requesting Keith to come upstairs and meet the owner of the dump... that was as pathetic as Cranage Financial

Prediction : By June, fat Jack is either fired or tells us he is buying the bar

Pat's Pub hahahaha

[Bar Names]

5.) Pig's
4.) Bumbers
3.) Rita's Dirty Clam
2.) Aidsfactory
1.) Frosty's