 Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 3:10 pm Post subject: Matt Smith: The Man, The Myth, & The Self-Proclaimed Leg |
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| I would like to set the record straight about one Matthew Smith. This man has been accused of many things in his short softball career, but I will use this post to discount the TWO overwhelming stereotypes about Matthew Smith, the softball player. First, that he is a defensive retard at first base. Grant it, when we first started playing softball, Matt fielded 1st base kinda similar to how Stevie Wonder counts money with a blind-fold on! But, as the years went by and he gained valuable experience, Matt started to "scoop up" MOST of those tricky balls that came directly right to his glove in the air!! And he even managed to not mess his hair up when he flopped around like a dying goldfish out of water for those throws in the dirt. He is now fielding 1st base ALMOST as well as the 9-year olds in the Tom Emanski videos! Good for you, Smitty.
And second, that he is the most selfish player on the team. I totally discount this assertion. Matt proved how good of a teammate he really is to me last Sunday. After struggling both in the field and at the plate in the first game last week, Matt was asked for the sake of the team to sit in place of JCass. Now, one may expect him to bitch and moan like Dennis Elmer when told he is too short to ride the ferris wheel! But, Matt showed his true love for the great Purple and Gold. He stayed on his feet the entire game and cheered passionately for his teammates. He also went to the plate and hit nothing but line drive after line drive. Well Matt, like you did for us on Sunday, I am going to do for you now! I am currently standing up in my living room and applauding you as I type because you are indeed a MODEL TEAMMATE & a ROLE MODEL for all current and future athletes. I am proud to say that my first born son dons your illustrious name as his middle name. And when that fateful day comes when he asks who he is named after, I'll say, "Chase Matthew, you are named after the two hardest working, selfless athletes to ever compete in athletics in this town: Chase Utley & and one Matthew Smith!! |
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| Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 11:35 am Post subject: Best drinker on the team |
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| Looking at the past couple of comments, I have came to a conclusion that you guys are all a disappointment to the Fullmoon softball team. I know when I was showing up, we were not worried about coming in 1st or winning 2 games on Sunday. I remember how many times we had to call me or Cassidy to get up or how many times we waited to get mercy ruled so we could go see Fat Jack. Now all you guys care about is winning 2 games and then going back to lose money to myself in cards (like Sparks). Maybe I will have to make a return to show you guys what we ARE suppose to be on Sunday mornings.
Your friend, MCKEEVER |
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| Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 1:03 pm Post subject: I Disagree |
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| I disagree with the above premise. I think we should all show up drunk and fighting with each other, and then take our chances in the games. It's just more fun that way, and it worked for the '86 Mets (maybe we should bring some blow with us too). | |
| Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 2:20 pm Post subject: Smitty |
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| Our team needs to shut the fuck up and just play. We have guys picking on guys day in and day out, no names (Keith on Smitty, J. Wolf on K. Wolf, K. Wolf on Keith, D. Sparks on EVERYONE). If we all wanted to win the chip, maybe we wouldn't come to the games Sunday like McKeever retarded (like J. Cass, K. Wolf, Judd, Quinny, etc.). Maybe this will light a fire up everyone's ass and we will come out next week and smoke whoever we play. | |
| Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 11:27 am Post subject: Keith's Worst Move |
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| Keith's worst move was getting rid of McKeever. He was the only guy that could make me look sober by comparison week after week. Also, if Smitty is gonna keep striking out with men on base, do we really even want him on the bench? If we need a pinch-hitter, I would go with YANK. You know YANK is gonna make solid opposite-field contact. | |
| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 11:08 pm Post subject: jim kennedy |
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| who the hell is that? | |
| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 10:39 pm Post subject: F'in joke of a team |
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| Here it is team.... I have shit for errors this season... I hit EVERY SINGLE CLUTCH at bat and I am tired of clowns like keith and j ca$$ constantly discrediting my abilities..... My services are underappreciated and overlooked.... F U HATERS!!!! | |
| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 12:51 pm Post subject: MY TEAM |
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| Considering I have made the moves of the offseason (bringing back Johnny Mac, getting John "Motormouth" Greenwald, getting rid of McKeever and keeping my clothes on so far), I do consider myself manager of the year. I also think I should get MVP of our team since I am batting 1.005 for the year and have a .03 ERA. I am hummy people down on the hill and nobody better say shit. Everyone better be there sunday this week.
Here is our true line-up: C) Quinny (unless he gets called up to the majors) P) The one and only!!!!!! Hulk Hogan!!!!!!!!! 1B) Jim "I barely get up for games" Cassidy 2B) Dennis "2-7 off suit" Sparks 3B) Mike "I should have my priorities straight" Danofa SS) Johnny "Cameback to real team" Mac RF) Jim "I'm the best bar player in everything" Kennedy aka Judd RC) Joe "I'm the world's greatest softball player" Wolf LC) Kevin "I drink everyday" Wolf LF) Mike "Thank god for Smitty" (Smitty buddy) DH) Glee "I'm the luckiest guy ever" Bench: 1) Matthew "I have to keep my hair straight" Smith 2) John "My mouth never shuts" Greenwald 3) Brian "I got on because of my brothers" Wolf 4) YANK |
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| Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:25 am Post subject: White Papi |
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| Has anybody noticed how I'm driving the shit out of the ball since DHing? I realize I'm gonna have to play 1st come playoff time, but I guess we'll have to live with that. The outfield is out of the question though.
PS: I can't vote for Keith for Cy Young yet, but he's a lock for executive of the year...He signed us up for a softball league where most of the games are only a short flight away...I had to get a passport for this coming Sunday... |
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| Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:03 pm Post subject: New Client |
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| I'm thinking of seeking legal action against these outrageous comments against my new client Smitty. I would like my client Smitty to be shown the proper respect he deserves for driving in countless runs, extremely clutch, and for being a flat out winner. He may even be a surprise nominee for this year's golden glove award. I expect for him to be treated like the superstar he truly is!!
I would also like to add that I am glad that The Full Moon Softball One can look past petty grievances and allow Johnny Mac the priveledge of once again playing for such an esteemed organization. He does not need any negative pressure from the team at this time. It has come to our attention that "& Cheese" is suing Johnny for copyright infridgement for using his last name in such a convenient manor as it can easily be confused with the delicious macaroni and cheese side dish we have all become so fond of. --Drew |
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| Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 9:20 pm Post subject: hey |
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| Yank is that really you? | |
| Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 12:12 pm Post subject: Fullmoon Softball Team |
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| How great is it that The Fullmoon team is 3-1!!!!! It's all because we have the dominating force on the mound and behind the plate. It has nothing to do with Smitty (who struck out twice already in slow pitch softball). Just wait to see The Fullmoon team bring home the championship this year. | |