 Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 1:01 am Post subject: "THE GAME" |
|
| Chances Smitty can catch the inbounds pass.....0
Chances Kevin lets Jack borrow 1 of his rolled up show off your guns T-shirts......70-30 Odds the 1st words by Joe during the game are "these guys are a joke"100 Chances are Cass doesn't make it due to Mothers Day-Wife Day-Kids Day-Wear your wifes underwear to work day- 75 % Chances of Johnny G claiming he hasn't seen such a blob of a basketball player like Jack since Oliver Miller or a player with worse hands than Smitty since Manute Bol ...100% Odds of Brauny wearing his schmedium Mugsy Bogues jersey...50/50.(if his Spud Webb is clean he may wear it...) Chances of Juddy finding a overseas line to bet the game....99% Likelyhood Keith can get Chuck Mangione to play the "National Anthem "b4 game...10 %...chuck is a very busy man Chances of Quinny and Cass sneaking under the bleachers for a quickie.100% Chances of a scoreless tie due to Smitty 's inability to catch the ball when checked in and Jack running off to chase the Mr.Soft-Tee truck 99% |
|
| Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 7:43 pm Post subject: ODDS IN THE BATTLE OF THE HAS BEENS FAT JACK VS. SMITTY |
|
| FAT JACK DEATH 100/1
FAT JACK DEATH BY HEARTATTACK 250/1 FAT JACK KILLED BY WILD CIRCUS LIONS 2000/1 SMITTY DEATH 3000/1 SMITTY DEATH BY ATTACK OF THE REANIMATED CORPSE OF WILT CHAMBERLAIN 10000/1 FAT JACK MAKING AN EXCUSE TO LEAVE EARLY 2/1 SMITTY MONEY LINE -525 FAT JACK MONEY LINE +490 FAT JACK DONUT LINE -300 SMITTY HAIRLINE -400 FAT JACK HAIRLINE ∞ ODDS IN GAME TO 12 SMITTY -5 FAT JACK +4.5 FAT JACK FIRST TO SCORE A BASKET 3/1 SMITTY FIRST TO SCORE A BASKET 2/9 FAT JACK FIRST TO EAT A BASKET OF KFC 1/10 SMITTY FIRST TO MENTION HIS ONE HOMERUN IN SOFTBALL 1/100 FAT JACK EATS SMITTY AND EXCLAIMS HE WAS DELICIOUS - EVEN ODDS OF A FLAGRANT FOUL 1/2 ODDS OF A FLAGRANT ODOR EMINATING FROM FAT JACKS EXTREMITIES 1/1000 FAT JACK WILL WIN, IF OBAMA WINS IN GENERAL ELECTION 9/1 SMITTY WINS IF OBAMA WINS GENERAL ELECTION - EVEN OBAMA SHOWS UP AT THE GAME AND FEEDS FAT JACK THE BALL FOR THE FINAL SHOT AND WIN 1000/1 OBAMA SHOWS UP AT THE GAME AND JACK EATS HIM, THINKING THAT OBAMA IS A GIANT CHOCOLATE HERSHEY KISS - 50/1 MCCAIN VS SMITTY HAIRLINE 4/1 MCCAIN VS FAT JACK HAIRLINE EVEN FAT JACK SLIPS SMITTY A MICKEY AT THE MOON BEFORE THE GAME - EVEN SMITTY CATCHES A BALL AT FIRST BASE BEFORE THE GAME WITH FAT JACK - ∞ AFTER BEATING SMITTY FAT JACK IS RENAMED SLIM JACKRABBIT 50/1 AFTER LOSING TO FAT JACK SMITTY IS RENAMED ITTY BITTY SMITTY 10/1 GAME NOT HAPPENING 1/3 GAME NOT HAPPENING BUT FAT JACK AND SMITTY STILL REMINISCING ABOUT HOW GREAT OF A GAME IT WOULD OF BEEN 1/4 JOHNNY G TALKING ABOUT FAT JACK AND SMITTY BEFORE AND AFTER THE GAME FOR HOURS 1/100 ACCIDENTAL HOMOSEXUAL CONTACT DURING THE GAME 1/5 ODDS OF SMITTY OR FAT JACK ADMITTING THAT THEY'VE THOUGHT OF EACH OTHER IN A SEXUAL WAY IN THE PAST 2 WEEKS 1/10 FAT JACK AND SMITTY QUITTING HALFWAY INTO THE GAME TO ENGAGE IN GAY SEX - EVEN |
|