 Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:03 am Post subject: ODDS |
|
| please Mr.greek are we gonna have are incredibly talented fall team in the philly lge?That team can compete anywhere...If were referring to that collection of misfits co.patterson usually trots out there I d expect yet another barely .500 season..So please use any extra money left over from the beef/beer ....cutting Denis...pay cutting DH only Smitty...fining Keith for again coming in way over weight and offer ROGAINE laden contracts to JUDDY---DeNofa Shoe lifts for TINY Johnny Mac A HUGE bed /bath and beyound certificate for a new afghan for J CASS....Give M.Braun Ben Johnson's gold medal for 100 yd.dash He's clearly the fastest man alive... And I personally could use some Clairol Golden Brown --just for pubes and armpits---Thanks | |
| Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 10:38 pm Post subject: Full Moon 2007 Spring Softball Odds and Prop Bets |
|
| Full Moon 2007 Spring Softball Odds and Prop Bets
**The odds reflect a 20 game regualr season** Will Full Moon 2 be champions of the "Philly league" Yes -110 No -110 Will Full Moon 2 beat Full Moon 1 in both games Yes -220 No +200 Split -140 Will the Full Moon 2 roster include the oldest man in the league Yes -1100000 No +1300000 *Please note that if Johnny G. dies of natural causes in the offseason, this will be deemed a "no bet" Will Fat Jack make a comeback and play for FM2 No -640 Yes +560 If yes, how much weight will Jack lose in the pregame warm-up throws Over 37.5 lbs. -120 Under 37.5 lbs. +100 *Jack must be standing during pre-game toss for this to count Will Jack arrive by way of the "fat copter" Yes -200 No +180 If no, will Justin drop him off Yes -140 No +120 How many people thought I was gonna say a Justin joke next Everyone -100000 No one +100000 Games played by Yank Over 1.5 -120 Under 1.5 +100 Number of games Yank's girlfriend or family is brought up Over 19.5 -120 Under 19.5 +100 Games played in by Dob Under .5 -700 Over .5 +900 Number of different Wolf's who will play in a game this season Over 4.5 -120 Under 4.5 +100 *Please note that Chase Wolf counts as a whole person Times that Keith will plead with Joe to let Jenny Wolf or Chase Wolf play first instead of Smitty Once a game -330 Never +300 Dennis v. Keith Patterson in a "dance off" Dennis -400 Keith +360 Will Dennis make the post-season roster No -110 Yes -120 After how many games will Keith go to the full moon and do the following: Expose himself, chase fake chickens, imitate doing exercises (because we all know that the only he is going to exercise is to entertain everybody), box quinny, kiss a guy, and get drunk All 10 weeks -16000 Less than 10 +14000 Will a full moon moon player shit himself during actual game play Yes -480 No +400 If yes, will the player be : Keith -1100 field +1000 Will said player dispose of his underwear or keep it as a souveniour? Keep it -1000 Dispose +900 Will Quinny pitch at least one ball in actual game play Yes -200 No +180 Will McKeever pitch at least one ball inactual game play Yes -200 No +180 *I could of tricked you all with this one, I was ofcourse referring to golf and hard-ons not softball!* Number of "gay ass" songs that will be sung on the bench during a game this season. Over 3.5 -120 Under 3.5 +100 *please note that Whitesnake's "Here I go again" is exempt. I am looking for songs by artists like Kelly Clarkson, The Fray, Jewel, etc.. Will Dennis Sparks be the one to start all these songs Yes -600 No +500 Highest number of fans that will attend a given game (not including playoffs...like it would matter) Under 2.5 -220 Over 2.5 +200 (Come on Stef, Chase, and Jack..I am betting the over) Games played by Kevin Wolf either drunk or hungover Over 20.5 -900 Under 20.5 +800 *You are probably asking yourself how the number could be higher than 20. I have taken into account the following scenario: Kev will drink sooo much after a game one time that he will wake up Monday morning still in his uniform and show up at the field thinking he has a game. A Trash can will win the gold glove at both 1st base and RCF Yes -300 No +270 Who will commit more errors at first base Smitty -120 Trash Can +100 FM2 will actually play the 1996 Chicago Bulls: No -220 Yes +200 No, because the former Bull's players are relentless in asking our LCF for his autograph that it is impossible to get an actual game in...gag! +40000 Number of errors commited by Juddy b/c he has made the simple play and instead guns the ball to first or third Over 22.5 -140 Under 22.5 +120 Number of errors that are blamed on Smitty as a result Over 22.5 -140 Under 22.5 +120 Nicest and most encouraging player on the team: Glea -1400 Brian Wolf -1200 Mike Braun -800 Denofa -200 Quinny (in a good mood) -160 Smitty +120 Cass +140 Dennis Sparks +300 Juddy +600 Keith +1000 Kev. Wolf +1100 Joe Wolf +3100 Johnny G. +1000000 Tom Quinn (in a bad mood) +100000000000 Number of times Smitty will say "see ya" at the plate Over 7.5 -120 Under 7.5 +100 Number of times Cass will say "see ya" and go home (to his house) Over 5.5 -120 Under +100 Keith's first pitch of the season will be A Ball -1700 A Strike +1500 *Quinny will utter to Keith, "Give it to me deep and hard" Yes -220 No +200 **Keith will thrust his hips toward the opposing batter over and over and finally pitch the ball Yes -400 No +360 ***Keith will bitch that his pathetic underhand toss is called a ball Yes -300 No +280 The first fielding play of the season will Be an Error -140 Played perfectly for an out +120 Keith will bitch at Smitty after the first play of the season no matter who caught the ball or where it was hit Yes -120 No +100 Joe Wolf and Kevin Wolf will also start arguing after the play no matter who caught the ball or where it was hit Yes -220 No +200 After the first play Cassidy will be half asleep under his quilted poncho Yes -400 No +360 By the time the first ball is put into play Keith will of exposed his ass and genitals Over 7.5 times -130 Under 7.5 times +110 At some point in the season Joe Wolf, Kev Wolf, and Brian Wolf will be fighting one another at the same time Yes -220 No +200 At some point in the season this scenario will transpire: Glea will burst out like the guy they talk about in Goodfellas and Johnny G. will shrewdly tell him "shut up, you're always talkin!" It will happen -140 It will not happen +120 If said scenario occurs, Quinny will remind Johnny that, "It sounds much nicer in Italian" Yes -600 No +540 Who has a best chance at a good run this season Full Moon 2 softball -300 Barbaro +1800 Fat Jack losing weight +4000 Full Moon 1 +7000 The gayest uniform award will go to Dennis Ulmer at Jack's Christmas party (Checkerboard sweater) -4000 Full Moon 1 "Paid in Fuggazi" shirts -500 Full Moon 2 "Purple Barney" shirts +200 Rides Denofa will give to "Acey Ducey". Over 6.5 -120 Under 6.5 +100 Will Dennis Sparks assault an umpire Yes -330 No +270 Double plays that Keith will hit into in clutch situations Over 15 -120 Under 15 +100 Double plays Smitty will hit into in clutch situations **Taken off the board by gaming commision b/c clearly there can be no line for under zero** Average number of bats brought to each game Under 2.5 -300 Over 2.5 +240 Will Quinny break another bat Yes -200 No +180 Amount of money Full Moon 2 will spend at the bar on Sundays during the season Over $57500 -130 Under $57500 +110 *Total includes beer and the price of the Lasik eye surgery most of the team had to endure from squinting to watch the TV's Dennis has at the bar **Also, why I am at it.... Thanks for the new bat Dennis and allowing us to rip our friends off with the highest priced beef and beer of my entire life where all you served was Spam and Bush beer. In the words of Joe W., "You arwe the biggest, fucking joke bar owner in the whole Northeast. <><>Please feel free to make your bets.... more props to follow..I am tired and believe it or not I did this once already and fuckin deleted it before I could post it and I had way better prop bets before!<><> |
|