 Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 11:23 am Post subject: The Bookie |
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| Another sucker better | |
| Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 7:15 am Post subject: My "100% Guarenteed Lock of the Century!" pick |
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| Thanks for calling the Brandon Lang “Nothing But Winners” hotline! I’ve hit on an incredible 81% of my “Sunday NFL Sure Fire Winners”, and a ridiculously unheard-of 98% of my “Monday Night Make Back All You Lost on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, & Sunday” selections! Hollywood doesn’t just make movies about any or all handicappers; they make 1 MOVIE about 1 HANDICAPPER! Who? Brandon Lang! Why? Because, I am simply the best! Since we are on the subject: For a limited time only, go to any Blockbuster and mention that you’ve seen me, Brandon Lang, on Comcast Sportsnet’s Daily News Live, and they will give you $0.50 off your next rental of the critically acclaimed hit “Two For The Money” starring Academy Award winner Al Pacino & Matthew McConaughey as me, Brandon Lang! (We are like dead ringers)
Anyway, back to the real reason why you called: TO MAKE $$$$$$! Like your favorite late-night dancer, we’re gonna make big money as a strip TEASER! We’re going to use Joe Wolf + the 4 seconds, and tease it up to 10 seconds! We’re also going use Joe Wolf commits some kind of crime 2 hours before the race, and tease it up to 10 hours before the race! We are also going to use these two selections in a reverse! So, put 5 dimes on a Joe Wolf +4 seconds/ +2 hours TEASE & another 2 dimes on the same picks in a REVERSE! Do it, and your bookie will be the one crying hysterically Tuesday morning! |
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| Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 12:49 am Post subject: New Race Odds |
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| The odds have just been released for the 2007 foot race between Joe Wolf and Mike Braun:
Outright win: Mike Braun -350 Joe Wolf +300 Mike Braun -4 seconds -120 Joe Wolf +4 seconds +100 Mike Braun DNF +900 Joe Wolf DNF +200 Mike Braun below legal limit at race time +1100 Joe Wolf below legal limit at race time -1300 Mike Braun commits some kind of crime 2 hours before race +30000 Joe Wolf races fresh out of handcuffs +250 Some one getting punched within 3 hours after the race because the person who lost is frustrated and cannot believe that he is not the fastest player on the clown ass full moon softball anymore +210 The person being punched is considered elderly -240 (punch must happen) *Lines subject to change at race time* |
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