I want to find out….

April 8th, 2010

Tiger Woods Nike commercial shamelessly using his father who passed away talking about something else to make it look like he’s talking about Tiger’s cheating

I want to find out if this look was the look he had on his face right before his wife hit him with the 9 iron

I want to find out why all the sudden having sex with lots of hot chicks while married which used to be called cheating is now a mental illness

I want to find out if Tiger had a threesome with any of these chicks with Fuzzy Zoeller and if any of those same hot chicks moaned Give  it to me Fuzzy, Give it to me Tiger, (NO give it to me Fuzzy Tiger) in unison or back and forth….I’m just that inquisitive of a guy

I want to find out if Tiger met any of these chicks at a Jimmy Johnson Extenze dinner. I also want to know who else goes to Jimmy Johnson Extenze dinners, this has brought selling out to a whole new level.

my favorite new old actor

April 8th, 2010

Brian Cox – this guy is the new great old actor…. – He’s in 25th hour, he was in the original movie about Hannibal Lecter as Hannibal Lecter Manhunter, and now he’s in The Good Heart which was pretty good I watched it the other night on demand….It doesn’t hurt that he don’t take no shit from nobody

Thought of the day….

April 7th, 2010

Did people really need Dancing with the Stars to find out that white people can’t dance?

Ok I know no one gives a shit about healthcare so here are….My Top 10 moments of the Phillies/Nationals game

April 7th, 2010

I attended the Phillies vs. Nationals with a bunch of friends (sorry to Gutberlet and his group of friends I deserted people at around the 3rd inning to be an idiot and watch the game from the Standing Room outfield right behind
our section)

  1. People booing the president classless or classic? i’m going with both
  2. Ryan Zimmerman getting booed as he recieves a gold glove trophy…ryan
    who?
  3. Me wearing the nationals hat they gave you for free as you entered the park as a rally cap and the phillies scoring 5 straight runs…..(i now have to wear it to every game)
  4. Fat Jack almost getting in 3 fights on the way down and at the game (fat jack is the person who drove me to the game)
  5. Every female Phillies fan at the game (i love you!)
  6. Me doing my Dan Baker impression and exclaiming
    "all non-national fans wearing khaki pants please report to section
    103"
    "if you think tom daschel is the winner of the gold medal in the 2010 Winter Olympic luge event please report to section 103 "
    "If you think Nancy Pelosi is the name of an Italian girl round da way’
    please report to section 206"
    and it goes on like this…
  7. The beer guys having the foresight to put 3-5 different kinds of beer in their coolers, inventive, smart, and delicious
  8. Me as well as several other Phillies fans being an asshole and not sitting in his/her seat for almost the entire game
  9. Teddy Roosevelt running through the stadium like a crazed presidential lunatic
  10. Placiddddddddooooooooo Polaaaaaaaanco

New Site & Quinnycare

April 6th, 2010

(here’s a link to the old web site) – we’re going to figure out what we’re going to do with it and by we I mean the other total dorky guy doing it not of course me. Also here’s a quick link to the softball message board (children under 25 don’t go here) and actually all people who are not idiot white guy softball players probably shouldn’t go there either…

Originally when I made this site I thought it was going to be just a joke site where I’d put up a few quotes here and there every once in awhile maybe sell a few t-shirts to break even on the hosting fees, which I did…..However, the better thing about the site became it’s off color (that’s an understatement) softball message board. All the other crap just kind of paled in comparison. So in the spirit of vanillaafro instead of commenting on the merits of Lionel Ritchie’s early 80’s afro or the Grammy award winning afro of Art Garfunkel (do I have really have to google whether it’s Garfunkel or Garfunkle?), I’d rather just post idiot blog posts every once in awhile and let the softball message board flow like an aged wine off the aged chest off Johnny G

One thing I really want to comment on is healthcare. So let’s tackle it and for the sake of silliness let’s call my brand of healthcare Quinnycare….Mainly because it sounds like a horrible daycare center that you wouldn’t take your kids to.  Let’s say for instance you’re loading up the kids into the SUV (because minivans don’t fucking exist anymore, they don’t) and you got say a 1 year old and 2 year old screaming in the backseat. Well you’re riding down the street and you see option 1 “young achievers wellness center” and option 2 “Quinnycare usa” unless you’re the most fucked up parent in the world you’re doing a 50 MPH u-turn and sending your kid to the we love your kids “young achievers wellness center”….Anyway enough of that rant let’s get to the staples of Quinnycare (TM) alright it’s not trademarked (I just thought of another boring blog post about trademarks and how asinine they are sometimes)
1.)    the government doesn’t really know much about healthcare i.e. the sick, doctors and health insurance and pharmaceutical companies do…(i.e. knowledge of  their situation….the sick (I’m fucking sick not the government)…doctors/nurses knowledge about treating the sick, health insurance providers knowledge of how much it actually costs vs. risks, and finally drug makers know how much it costs to manufacture drugs and distribute them out etc….
2.)    the government CAN kick the ass of people who abuse the system, i.e. people, insurance companies, evil pharmacists, evil doctors (doctor who he was a mean old sumbitch).  An evil petting zoo?
3.)    There’s some interesting catch 22’s fucking with the healthcare system.
4.)    People need healthcare and good healthcare….They need healthcare, at best, at least a few times in their life, at worst, all of their life
5.)    I’ve run out of ideas and people have stopped reading anyway, this is a big crisis facing Quinnycare…..boring blog posts…..

Ok so we broke it down a little bit but no. 3 is loaded with some unanswered questions, the main one being:

In the U.S. we’re not going to let people die or go untreated for serious shit no matter who they are. Charlie Manson could have a mean case of Pink eye and the fucking warden would send him to the infirmary to get eye drops. This basically leads to some form of unofficial universal healthcare anyway…so the catch 22 is, There’s a lot of Charlie Mansons, illegal immigrants not paying taxes, poor people without jobs, elderly people with no money that need healthcare, students (hopefully hot college girl ones from the Czech republic, forget healthcare let’s figure out why college students are so hot that come from the Czech republic). So we should give them healthcare right? Well if we give them healthcare that’s fine but who foots the bill? If you make the other people foot the bill then healthcare becomes more expensive for them. If you don’t foot the bill then Charlie Manson dies in the street…..Yeah, but so does the little Mexican boy who yeah is an illegal but he’s also a child, or that elderly guy that you used to see in Wawa getting the paper and looking for quarters that fell out of people’s pockets I swear I think his name was Pee-wee….So, what do you do to solve the problem?

Possible solutions
1.)    tax the rich heavy and use that money to pay for the poor’s healthcare. I.e. government Robin Hood
2.)    give tax credits and possibly other breaks to insurance companies to pick up high risk people i.e. Illegals for temporary care…Hey Aetna if you pick up X amount of  insurance on illegals for temporary care going in to X amount of hospitals will lower your taxes. Also you have to cover insurance for hot college girls from the Czech Republic….
3.)    Assign Charlie Manson as the grand Poo Pa of the Healthcare system and once a day have a 60 minutes style interview with him that will be broadcast right after Good Morning America on how we’re going to operate the healthcare system today. Before you make any rush judgements, are you sure you don’t want to see Al Roker ask Charlie what he wants to do with 10,000 sick people and Charlie Say, “Well Al we got to let the pigs die and let my mystical freedom fighters run helter skelter”. And then Al exclaims you heard it here first Charlie says some of the sick In America are pigs and they have to die followed by a giant hospital door closing and Charlie laughing in a sort of Dr. Evil laugh until the credits role, now that’s healthcare…

Number 1 is I think the biggest component of the solution now. I.e. let’s raise taxes on people making over 200k, let’s raise taxes on people filing jointly over 250k, let’s raise taxes on the “cadillac plans” whatever they are… Does Cadillac Williams run these plans? If so I highly disagree with this. Actually I’d like to see a clause put in there that says any motherfucker with the nickname Cadillac must have gotten it because they’re one cool mofo so let’s give that cool mofo free healthcare for life. Now this doesn’t seem like a terrible solution on it’s face but the problem with it is is that the guy or gal making 200k isn’t in the healthcare business. When Robinhood went looking for rich guys (and we’re not talking about the faggy Kevin Costner Robinhood we’re talking about some roided up guy with a green hat on) to fuck over he didn’t find the ones who were hanging out in Nottingham shooting shit with the townsfolk etc…he found the evil baddest motherfucking rich dude and shot him with an arrow. And more importantly that rich dude literally had bags of money with dollar signs on it. Bags of money with $$$ signs on them are awesome….Anyway, what I’m saying is we can’t just throw taxes into whatever problem comes along because what happens is where do you draw the line at rich? And the other problem becomes the reverse effect of the rich being taxed so heavy that they don’t spend as much and the economy gets worse AND the government actually ends up getting less taxes because they don’t get the sales tax, capital gains tax and who knows what else tax they would of gotten if they hadn’t taxed some random guy making over 200k to pay for someone else’s healthcare. ANYWAY, I’m all for making sure the rich pay their fair share of taxes but then that also begs the question what’s a fair share? And who in America doesn’t want to be rich some day…If you keep getting taxed like crazy how can you ever be rich etc….? So…….

Now I think there’s something to number 2 as simple as it sounds. Why not regulate private companies heavy using government agencies in place already i.e. the IRS and other government workers AND on top of that give people/businesses the freedom to choose their healthcare provider and pay through it through work. If you don’t work at a company that gives you benifits you have to apply to insurance companies for healthcare,  whoever picks you up gets a nice tax credit from the government. Problem with this would now be what if no insurance company picks you up? Well that’s when what I’d like to call government fucking insurance companies in the ass begins, like that title? If you don’t get picked up, the government could assign a random health insurance company to pick up your care AND that random company gets fucked in the ass by you guessed it Charlie Manson. No, in a serious note the government would just assign you a company in a circular fashion. So all insurance companies not meeting high risk thresholds would get an equal ass fucking (we’d call it QuinnFucked or QuinnOwned) until they realized that if they didn’t barter on high risk coverage and work it out before it got into the governments hands then not only would they lose the incentives but they’d gain a high risk insurer. Now what happens to the guy who enters the emergency room without coverage? Well here’s the ultimate high risk patient, he or she is at the friggin hospital right now. SO, for this poor soul the tax incentives to cover would be greatest. So for this guy who’s now been instantly covered, The health insurance company would be QuinnOwned and the patient would be QuinnyCovered (Quinn’s got your back)…. For a young person who’s not covered I’m willing to bet that insurance companies would salivate at the chance to cover say 10k 25 year olds with no coverage at the time for tax incentives, (especially hot Czech ones). Anyway enough of my rant, but as you can see illegal immigrants do complicate things, and we’re not just talking about their love of soccer…..so that issue definitely has to be addressed next so…hasta la vista! (can you believe I used a cheesy line like that to end an otherwise boring but ok blog post?)